News, that shake anyone!

Last few days have been really touching me. Some moments made me just speechless.

As I have had this "hope" sometimes, waiting when they come and tell me:

"Viljo, we think you should leave the school.."or something like that, but nothing like that really happened.

Well, yesterday I had one on one with my school leader again and we talked about financies, again.

He reminded me that as I haven t paid most of my school fees which means that I also
can t go to London, but it also means more. It means that school has to inform immigration departure or whatever departure it is, inform them, that I m not at school anymore, and then they would cancel my visa. Fortunately my visa would be cancelled in few weeks, there would be kind of time for me to prepare getting my things together and leave the country. That would be a bit sad I was thinking. I put all my money to school and now I am facing the fact to leave the school and leave the country. The thing is, that actually I wouldn t only loose my graduation but also visa. Even that doesn t bother me much, what bothered me was that I m not sure if I could ever enter to Australia again because if I leave the school, my visa would be cancelled in few weeks, I couldn t probably get money enough to pay my ticket back to Estonia, which means that Australian government( I heard) would put me to plane and simply send me back to where I m from. I would be blacklisted to this wonderful country called Australia. Option was to get another visa, I was thinking. Well, I also don t have a proper passport, 

I lost that too. I have some kind of paper that replaces my passport and allows me to fly back to Estonia, but I m not sure if I could use it also for applying new passport here, well more like in Sydney..

Anyways, some things have happened and humbled me. 

 Some people say that I m proud person and I almost argued about that with one girl and I guess she is right.

I was trying to find excuses why am I like this. It s because of this and that. If I would be there or do that, I wouldn t be acting like this and bla bla. And besides that all it s still challenging to stay where I rather wouldn t be on my own choice. Often I guess I find excuses that I just need change, I just need to go somewhere else and do something else. Why should I be here and "suffer" that all? 

Once I posted something like this to my facebook profile and then one lady commented:

"Most things that are very good, are very difficult.." and I think she is right.

Anyways, come back to things that actually really humbled me. 

One day some of my classmates just felt that they wanna give me some things. For example Jessica, girl from Oregon gave me her camera. I was shocked. I love cameras. I just like taking picture, taking videos and all that stuff. I never even had my own camera. Often I used someone else s camera, and once happened that I used someone s camera again, I spilled it in a water. It was in North Queensland when I worked in banana farm, and it was flooding there. It was crazy, even cyclone Jasi hit that place and after that we wanted to have that all on tape. And then I spilled it in water. Water was up to my hip, over knees definitely. I couldn t even go so far. Well, we even swam in there, between banana trees, where we normally were working under hot sun, it was just flooding there then. So I bought a camera, but not for myself. That s funny. 

So Jessica gave me a camera. I was moved. I probably haven t even shower her how much it actually means to me. And then..

Armand, from Indonesia, Jakarta, comes and wants to give his videocamera. I was like what?

What are they doing. I already have one. What am I supposed to do with another one?

I felt so bad, because I didn t know how to respond, I didn t want to take it, but he said he deffinitely wants to give it to me. He said, he prayed, and He felt God wanted him to give it to me. I can t refuse things like that, it wouldn t be honourable. But that wasn t even enough.

  Few days later, one morning, I think it was Saturday. Maddie, from California, North California, they often wanna point it out, that it s not South but North, well, more like southern californians do that maybe (as far as my memory remembers- it s sometime so bad, especially with names..). Anyways, Maddie knocks on our door that morning when I was sleeping, around 9.30 I guess and she is holding her iPod.

I knew what was coming and I didn t like it at all. Like what? Another gift. I felt so bad. 

I m questioning why she wants to give it to me and the answer is similar to my other classmates.

"I was praying for that few days and I m pretty sure that I want to give it to you". 

I said it s getting really hard for me. What am I supposed to do with that I said. I don t even know how to use it. 

"Does it phone too? Like can I do calls with that" or something like that I ask. She laughs and says no, it s iPod. Only music. 

"There s 125 GB also and 8000 songs on it", she adds. 

"If you really feel that you don t want it or you don t need it, then just borrow it

for a while and you can give it back to me later if you want", she smiles in a lovely way.

I m like wow..

2 cameras, little bit of money and then iPod. 

 I was really thinking that goes back to her, I don t need that. Just day or 2 later I was just thinking that, maybe, if some miracle happen and I can go to London, then I can actually use that iPod as a harddrive.

To put all the pictures and videos that I m gonna take with my new Lumix camera.

 Today I m finishing lunch and my school leader wants to chat with me again. Today we also have this so called commissioning night. It s when we kind of dedicate everyone who has their  fees, for school and for outreach, that is trip to London or wherever they go, some might go to some asian countries and do their mission there. 

Anyways, today was kind of due to get all money in and buy the tickets. Sabo, my school leader reminds me that again and kind of prepares me that I should be aware where am I at, should I maybe get some work in a city if I m leaving the school as I mentioned before in the beginning. 

 However, in the end of the conversation he says:

"I want to encourage you. We have a budget for the school that is put aside, and we wanted to support you with 2000 dollars so that you wouldn t have so much dept for the school in case you have to leave the school. I wasn t expecting that.

 I was just shocked. Like really? I couldn t even say much. 

"I would be rejoicing now if I was you" or something like that he said. But I was just speechless. Again.

So many times this week. 

I have to finish now, need to run to dinner. See how the commissioning night goes, and what comes after, I will write soon..